My Grandmother, My Vibrator, and Me

Wacker M 3000 Concrete Vibrator...wait wrong tool

Little Chroma by Jimmy Jane

My Grandmother, My Vibrator, and Me
For $24.99 you can sleep like a baby, moan like a porn star and obtain happiness.

Writing an article on the power of vibrators isn't easy. There is a lot of research that goes into each article in Jaded. I can honestly tell you, this article is well researched. Let's start with the "history of" from our friends at Wikipedia.

“Western doctors invented vibrators in the late 1800s to help cure women of a Victorian-era condition known as “hysteria.” This condition was believed to encompass a variety of symptoms including irritability, lack of appetite for sex or food, nervousness, faintness, and even a “tendency to cause trouble.” Doctors would physically massage their genitals until they had an orgasm.”

While I am mainly interested in first hand sources, the above background from Wiki tells me two things; that we live in a sexist society [ ] gendering “unwomanly” traits as diseases and that women can outsmart a professional group of men to massage their clitoris. Though it is nice to have a professional do all the work for you, there is little privacy in sitting in an uncomfortable chair under harsh lighting and having a stranger touch you “down there”. A vibrator offers intimacy, but more important it provides an opportunity for self-discovery and independence.

It takes a courageous and curious woman to dive in the deep sea of orgasmic pleasures. And I was not that woman. Not only was I not curious, I was actually fearful of all the dark complicated areas down there. I went through half a box of tampons before deciding it was safe to put it all the way in and leave it there.

I finally decided to give the vibrator a try after finding some shocking discoveries about my grandmother. Two summers ago, when I visited her in her small town Lock Haven, Pennsylvania and she eagerly showed me her stash of porn, highlighting one magazine with all its models over 50 years old. I found out later she secretly gave my female cousin a dildo as a gift. After the shock and embarrassment subsided, I realized what she was doing was empowering herself as a woman. She was interested in seeing women of her age represented sexually and explicitly in magazines. When my grandmother gave my cousin a rubbery penis, she was giving her granddaughter a chance to explore her own sexuality. It was a present from a woman to another woman. Her committed to her sexual health even the age of 64 is something rare and inspiring.

Once I understood how masturbation is gendered to congratulate male sexuality and stigmatize female sexuality, I saw the vibrator as a tool of empowerment. Men are thought of as sexual beings; we always understand their need to masturbate. He comes every time during intercourse. On the other hand, she can have sex without reaching orgasm. In the public discourse there are more room for negative names like “slut” and “whore” than positive images of women exploring sexuality. It is powerful to know your own body and what turns you on, and be able to come at a moment's notice with the whir of a switch. The process of finding orgasm with a vibrator is daunting but well worth the search. And after that, you’ll be able to sleep like a baby.

One thing I learned from my grandmother was that it is important share. Since I have a healthy relationship to my vibrator, I’ve introduced it to the women in my life. To share pleasure from a woman to a young lady is a generous act womanly-love and self-love.

If hole-in-the-wall porn shops aren't your thing, check out these bourgeois sex shops, complete with jazz music, smiling employees dressed in matching polos, and corporate slogans.
Spankys- "Adult Emporium Since 1968" Also home of the world famous Monkey Spanker, Chicken Choker, Rocket Polisher and Strong Arm character tee shirts. Store located in Santa Ana. http://www.spankysxxx.com/
Good Vibrations - "Promoting sexual health and pleasure since 1977" They also have a weekly online magazine and information sessions called "Pleasure Parties" Stores are located in San Francisco http://www.goodvibes.com/
Babeland - "Sex Toys for a Passion World." Locations in Los Angeles and New York. http://www.babeland.com/
ConRev – "World's finest Erotic Gift Shop." Shops in Costa Mesa and Huntington Beach http://www.conrev.com/

-- Diana Jou

A little post-valentine's day article from the Jaded mag archives, Red Issue 2007